Introduction
Many leaders want to always appear strong, never showing any weakness, especially to those they supervise. This is a mistake.
As Culture Amp points out, “we all struggle with things but sharing them is not a sign of weakness. It’s a compelling way to build trust.”
Vulnerability won’t magically turn you into a high performer, but failing to practice vulnerability will keep you from getting to higher levels of leadership excellence.
So, what is vulnerability? What are the benefits for leaders? How can you create vulnerability? Let’s jump in.
What is vulnerability?
According to the Harvard Business Review, vulnerability in a leadership context, “ does not mean being weak or submissive. To the contrary, it implies the courage to be yourself. It means replacing “professional distance and cool” with uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.”
Some examples they provide include calling an employee with a sick child, offering sympathy to somebody who has experienced a loss, requesting assistance, owning up to a mistake at work, or sitting by the bedside of a coworker who is seriously ill.
A leader who embraces vulnerability will demonstrate a willingness to be open and honest with their team, as well as accept constructive criticism from their team members.
When a leader shows vulnerability, they humanize their position and create a safe space for their team members to engage and be open. This results in increased morale, improved communication and collaboration, and better team performance overall.
Vulnerability also allows leaders to better understand their team members, provide support for them, and create meaningful connections. Ultimately, it can lead to greater collaboration, productivity and job satisfaction.
What are the benefits of vulnerability in leadership?
According to Gallup, “When employees are engaged and thriving, they experience significantly less stress, anger and health problems. Unfortunately, most employees remain disengaged at work. In fact, low engagement alone costs the global economy $7.8 trillion.”
High disengagement among employees has been the norm for many, many years. While this is a complex phenomenon with many factors influencing it, it is impossible to ignore the role of a lack of emotional connection between employees and supervisors.
Ultimately, failing to be vulnerable makes it very difficult for people to connect with you or feel like they really know you.
Emma Seppälä points out that matter how hard we may try to project a particular image to gain respect, pretense usually has the opposite effect, according to research by Paula Niedenthal.
Our subconscious registers too deeply with others to be fooled by appearances.
The trustworthiness of a leader has a marked impact on the behavior and well-being of an employee.
When employees think about a leader that connected with them, their brains show more activity related to positivity and social interaction, whereas the opposite is true for leaders who do not resonate.
People who try to put on a show or take on airs often make us feel uncomfortable and disconnected. Research by James Gross at Stanford University shows that our bodies react negatively to the negative feelings of others, even when we don’t consciously recognize that they are upset.
On the other hand, when leaders model vulnerability, they show their team members that it is ok to make mistakes. They also send the message that it’s ok to ask for help and that everyone is in this together.
Actively cultivating deep connections through authentic vulnerability can lead to greater emotional connection, greater employee engagement, and thus a dramatic improvement of the bottom line for your organization.
Aside from the raw economic benefits, some other benefits of vulnerability are:
Improved communication: By showing vulnerability, leaders create an environment in which their team members feel safe to talk about their feelings, struggles and successes. This leads to greater understanding, collaboration, and open communication between all members of the team.
For instance, imagine a team leader is working on a project and is struggling to come up with a solution to a problem. Instead of pretending that everything is going smoothly and hiding their struggle, the leader decides to share their frustration and challenge with their team.
By showing vulnerability and being open about their struggle, the leader creates a safe and supportive environment in which team members feel comfortable sharing their own ideas and thoughts. As a result, the team is able to work together to brainstorm solutions and come up with a successful solution to the problem.
Increased trust: When leaders are open and honest about their flaws, successes, and struggles, they foster a sense of trust with their team. This creates an environment of safety and understanding, making it easier for the team to work together towards a common goal and for team members to express when they need help.
Imagine that a team leader is working on a project and realizes that they have made a mistake. Instead of trying to cover up the mistake or blame someone else, the leader decides to be vulnerable and admits their mistake to their team.
By doing this, the leader demonstrates honesty and integrity, which can help build trust with their team. Team members may thus be more likely to trust the leader and be more open to their ideas and feedback.
Greater resiliency: When leaders are vulnerable, they demonstrate that it is okay to show vulnerability and share personal experiences, which can help create a more supportive and understanding work environment.
This can help team members feel more comfortable expressing their own vulnerabilities and challenges, which can promote a sense of belonging and support. By creating this safe and supportive environment, leaders can encourage their team members to be more resilient and adaptable when facing challenges.
For example, if a leader shares a personal story about a time they struggled and how they were able to overcome that challenge, it can serve as a model for their team members and encourage them to adopt a more resilient mindset.
What are some methods of cultivating vulnerability as a leader?
Creating vulnerability as a leader doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does take effort. Here are some tips to help you get started:
- Be open: be open to admitting when you are wrong, asking for help, and learning from others. Showing vulnerability can be a powerful sign of strength and can help build trust with those you lead. This is dead simple but flies in the face of decades of leadership “experts.”
- Ask questions: asking questions, especially when you don’t know the answer, will help you learn and show that it is okay to make mistakes. This can help create an environment of openness and trust. It also shows your team that you value their input.
- Show your own vulnerability: demonstrate your own vulnerability by being open about the challenges and setbacks you’ve faced in the past (or currently!). This will help create trust and show others that it is okay to be open and honest.
- Encourage open dialogue: encourage open and honest dialogue by creating a safe and supportive environment. This can include having regular, high quality 1-on-1 check-ins to talk about problems or successes, as well as having team members share their stories.
- Embrace feedback: invite constructive criticism and feedback from your team and be open to hearing their perspectives. This will show your team that you value their ideas and are open to change. This will naturally make them more open when you have to provide constructive feedback.
Have you already tried some of these basic approaches? Here are some more unusual methods to create greater vulnerability within an organization.
Use art or creative expression to share vulnerability: Consider using art or other creative expression, such as writing, music, or dance, to share your vulnerability with your team. This can be a powerful way to connect with others and create a sense of understanding and support.
For example, you can invite team members to share their stories through writing a poem or creating a painting. They could even share a song (one that they’ve written or one by another artist) that resonates with a difficult point in their life.This can help deepen the connection and understanding between team members
Create a “vulnerability wall”: Consider creating a “vulnerability wall” or another creative way for team members to reveal their inner feelings and struggles. This could be as simple as creating a physical wall with post-it notes where people can share their hopes and fears.
If you did some of the creative arts in the previous point, you could highlight those on the wall, rotating them out as new works are created. Make sure you get permission to display these works. You may want to display them anonymously if needed.
Practice vulnerability “speed sharing”: Set up a “speed-sharing” event where team members have a set amount of time (e.g., 1-2 minutes) to share a vulnerability or challenge with the group. Encourage team members to listen and provide support and understanding.
This could be especially effective if people are scared of sharing in too much depth and exposing more than they are comfortable with. It can also allow for more volume of sharing, which can create greater vulnerability across all team members.
Vulnerability role-play: But what if your team members are really struggling to open up about their own personal lives or that kind of vulnerability totally runs against your corporate culture as it stands? You can start with roleplaying.
“Vulnerability role-play” is an exercise that can help team members practice being vulnerable in different situations. Here is an example of how this exercise could be conducted:
- First, explain the purpose of the exercise and the importance of vulnerability in leadership. Emphasize the benefits of being open and honest, and create a safe and supportive environment for the exercise.
- Next, brainstorm a list of situations where vulnerability might be required, such as admitting a mistake, asking for help, or sharing a personal challenge. Write these situations on cards or slips of paper.
- Divide the team into small groups or pairs, and give each group or pair a set of the situation cards.
- Have each group or pair choose a situation card and role-play the scenario, with one team member playing the role of the leader and the other team members playing the role of the team. Encourage the team members to practice being vulnerable and open in the scenario.
- After each group or pair has completed the role-play, have the team debrief and discuss the scenario. Encourage team members to provide feedback and support to each other, and discuss the benefits and challenges of being vulnerable in the situation.
Conclusion
So, why is vulnerability important in leadership? Vulnerability allows leaders to be more authentic, which helps them connect with their teams and create trusting relationships.
Vulnerability as a leader also encourages openness and encourages team members to be honest about their challenges and successes. By creating a safe and supportive environment and using some of these tips, you can help cultivate vulnerability as a leader.
Finally, using creative exercises, such as vulnerability role-play and “vulnerability walls,” can help create a trusting environment where team members can safely express their feelings and share their experiences.
Above all, it’s time for leaders and managers to put vulnerability into action!
Take the initiative to practice humility, be honest about your mistakes, and show a willingness to learn. In doing so, you can foster an open and positive environment where everyone feels comfortable sharing ideas, providing feedback, and collaborating.
Embrace the risk that comes with being vulnerable and reflect on how it can create stronger teams, deeper relationships, and more meaningful conversations. It’s never too late to start; take the first step and commit to being a more vulnerable leader today.
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