As a leader, it’s important to be aware of your own emotions and the emotions of those around you. It might seem obvious, but many leaders fall short in this area, thinking it is somehow less important than “hard skills.”
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to effectively recognize and manage emotions in yourself and others. It is broken down into four components: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.
Self-awareness is the ability to understand one’s strengths and weaknesses and recognize one’s emotions and their effect.
Self-management is the ability to manage emotions, especially during stressful situations, and maintain a positive outlook.
Social awareness is the ability to recognize the emotions and dynamics of those around you.
Relationship management is the ability to influence, coach, and mentor others, and resolve conflicts effectively.
Some benefits of being emotionally intelligent as a leader include: being able to better understand and motivate employees, build better and more effective teams, better deal with difficult situations in a calm and constructive manner, and create a positive work environment.
We will explore each of those in this blog after addressing the absolutely critical nature of emotional intelligence in leadership.
Why is emotional intelligence a critical leadership and management skill?
Psychologist Daniel Goleman has popularize EQ and its importance for leadership.
In the Harvard Business Review, Goleman said, “The most effective leaders are all alike in one crucial way: They all have a high degree of what has come to be known as emotional intelligence. It’s not that IQ and technical skills are irrelevant. They do matter, but…they are the entry-level requirements for executive positions.”
Lauren Landry, writing for Harvard Business School, also pointed out how emotional intelligence “accounts for nearly 90 percent of what sets high performers apart from peers with similar technical skills and knowledge.”
Managers and leaders who are emotionally intelligent have a better understanding of themselves and others. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they’re able to use this knowledge to motivate and inspire their employees.
Emotionally intelligent managers are also better equipped to resolve conflict, build strong teams, and create a positive work environment.
What happens when leaders lack emotional intelligence
We can tell you all day long that emotional intelligence is critical to being a good manager, but instead of just telling you, we’ll give two realistic examples of leaders who lack emotional intelligence.
One example comes from Mr. Blunt, a manager at a financial services company, known around the office for his lack of understanding of people’s feelings.
One day, one of his employees, Sarah, came to him with a problem. She had been struggling with her workload and was feeling overwhelmed.
Mr. Blunt, however, didn’t take the time to understand how she was feeling. Instead, he just said, “Just do the work, Sarah. That’s why you’re here.”
Sarah, who was already feeling overwhelmed, was now feeling even more so. She was hurt and disappointed that her boss had been so dismissive.
Mr. Blunt, however, didn’t seem to notice. He just walked away, leaving Sarah feeling even worse than before.
The other employees in the office noticed this and started to talk about how Mr. Blunt lacked emotional intelligence. They talked about how he would often make insensitive comments or overlook people’s feelings entirely.
The other employees in the office started to feel a little bit uncomfortable around Mr. Blunt. They began to be more careful with how they spoke to him, as they never knew how he would react.
Mr. Blunt was completely oblivious to the fact that he lacked emotional intelligence. He thought he was doing a great job as a manager, but the truth was that he was making the office atmosphere very uncomfortable.
Soon, many employees were requesting to be shifted to other teams. Others avoided working with his team to try to keep themselves from having to encounter him and his total lack of emotional awareness.
A lack of emotional intelligence can also hamstring your career prospects.
Take, for example, a woman named Jane (sorry if your name is Jane, I promise this isn’t about you!). Jane was clearly very intelligent, but she lacked emotional intelligence.
She would regularly make offensive comments to team members. For example, she once told one teammate that he was “too emotional” and needed to “calm down” during a meeting. She also said things like “I’m not racist, but…” before making inappropriate, borderline racist jokes.
Because of her lack of emotional intelligence, Jane regularly offended people and caused tension within the team. People stopped wanting to work with her, and the project eventually fell apart.
Jane’s obvious lack of emotional intelligence made her offensive and difficult to work with.
Obviously, you wouldn’t be surprised to know that Jane stagnated in her job, was never given leadership over new projects, and thus was passed over with opportunities for promotions and raises.
Jane’s leadership prospects – despite her competence at the core tasks of her job – were forever hampered.
With those examples in mind, why should you strive to be an emotionally intelligent leader?
Emotional intelligence can help leaders and managers better understand and motivate employees
Employees are motivated by different things, so it’s important for leaders to be able to understand what makes each employee tick.
By understanding what drives an employee’s behavior, leaders can more effectively motivate them to do their best work. Emotional intelligence can also help leaders build stronger relationships with their employees, which leads to improved communication and collaboration.
You need to meet your employees where they are – helping them see the connection between their projects and their personal goals and identity.
Highly motivated and effective teams don’t do great work just because they have good pay and benefits, though that certainly doesn’t hurt. They do it because they understand why they’re doing it. Simon Sinek’s management classic Start With Why expounds on this idea.
This is why an analysis of over 400 senior executives found that emotional intelligence was twice as important as technical and cognitive abilities for success in the workplace. A technically competent but relationally clueless leader simply can’t lead well.
If you are a manager and you have an employee who is not meeting your expectations, you may be tempted to get angry and berate them in front of others to get them to perform better.
Instead, even a basic amount of emotional intelligence would lead you to sit down with them privately and try to understand why they are not meeting your expectations.
Once you know the reason, you can work with them to come up with a plan to improve their performance. This approach is more likely to result in the employee meeting your expectations than if you had torn them down publicly.
This may seem painfully obvious, but if you’ve ever seen someone biting a direct report’s head off for a poorly executed job, you know that it is not that simple.
Still, the solution really isn’t all that complicated. You just need to recognize that your employees are people too, not just robots created to crank out as much output as possible.
For example, let’s say you have an employee who is struggling with a project. By reading their emotional cues, you can see that they are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Rather than getting angry or demanding more work from them, you can use emotional intelligence to motivate them.
First, try to understand why they are struggling. Is it the workload? The deadline? The subject matter? Once you know the root cause of their frustration, you can address it directly. Maybe they need more help with the project, or more time to complete it.
Then, tap into their positive emotions to help them push through the tough times. Remind them of their past successes and how capable they are. Encourage them with kind words and praise their efforts. Help them see that they can do this and that you believe in them.
By using emotional intelligence to motivate your employees, you can create a more positive and productive work environment for everyone involved (see below).
Emotional intelligence can help leaders and managers resolve conflict and build better teams
Teams that are emotionally intelligent are more effective at resolving conflict because members understand each other’s perspectives and needs.
Healthy conflict resolution in the workplace is critical to your leadership success. That’s why we have previously written five tips to create a workplace with healthy conflict resolution.
Leaders who are emotionally intelligent are better at building trust within their team, which leads to the emotional equity needed to resolve conflicts quickly.
When team members trust and respect each other, they’re more likely to work together towards common goals and give each other the benefit of the doubt when conflict arises.
When it comes to resolving conflicts in the workplace, emotional intelligence is one of the most important assets in your toolbox. Those who are emotionally intelligent are able to read and understand the emotions of others, and they can use this information to help resolve conflicts.
For example, if two employees are arguing over a project, an emotionally intelligent manager could step in and diffuse the situation by understanding the emotions of both employees.
They might see that one employee is feeling frustrated because they feel like they are not being heard, while the other is feeling overwhelmed and just wants some help.
By understanding these emotions, the manager can then work to resolve the conflict by addressing each employee’s needs. This can lead to a more productive and positive work environment for everyone involved.
While you might not need a formal conflict resolution process, it is good to have at least one that you are familiar with. A popular option for professional settings is the “interest-based negotiation model.”
The interest-based negotiation model is a process in which the parties work together to identify their underlying interests and find creative solutions that satisfy those interests.
This approach is often used in mediation, where the mediator helps the parties explore their interests and find common ground.
Emotional intelligence can help you when you lead this kind of mediation, as it allows you to see when there are touchy interests that really need to be addressed, maybe even been prioritized over ones that they verbally identify as the most important.
Emotional intelligence can help leaders and managers create a positive work environment
A positive work environment is essential for employee morale, engagement, and retention.
Leaders who are emotionally intelligent know how to create an environment that is positive for everyone involved. They know how to communicate effectively with their employees, provide support when needed, and give feedback that is constructive rather than destructive.
A positive work environment is a very broad concept. Basically, we all want to work in a place where we feel like our managers care about us as people (not just what we produce) and we don’t have to live every day fearing a great deal of conflict.
A positive work environment can lead to greatly increased productivity, as workers are motivated to take pride in their work and strive for the goals set out for them.
Multiple studies have shown that who take the time to build strong relationships with their employees and recognize them as individuals can foster an even greater increase in productivity through positive reinforcement.
Employees with a positive attitude towards their work and their supervisor are more likely to be passionate about their job duties and seek to further the company’s goals.
Take this fictional account for example.
A positive work environment was created through emotional intelligence for Bill the moment when he walked into the office.
He was greeted by his manager a smile and asked how his weekend was. His manager genuinely cared about his answer and then proceeded to ask him about his family. He had a rough weekend with a sick mother and kids who are struggling with bullying at school.
His manager took five minutes to sit down with him, actively listen to how his weekend was going, and show support for him on a personal level.
This only took a few minutes out of the manager’s day, but it meant a lot to Bill. Interactions like this will keep Bill engaged and on board with the company for the long haul.
As Bill turned on his computer and got ready for a jam-packed workday, he did so with a sense of gratitude for his manager and team, which led to greater motivation despite the things going on his personal life.
Quick takeaway tips to improve emotional intelligence for leaders
If you want to be a successful leader, it’s important to work on developing your emotional intelligence. You probably get that by now. You now know that it is important, but what can you actually do about it?
Here are 9 very brief, practical tips:
- Be self-aware. Know your triggers and how to manage your emotions.
- Be aware of the emotions of others. Read social cues and learn to read body language.
- Respond, don’t react. Take time to process information and make thoughtful decisions instead of reacting emotionally to every situation.
- Manage stress effectively. Find healthy ways to cope with stress so it doesn’t take over your life or negatively impact your health.
- Communicate effectively. learn how to communicate with others in a way that is clear, concise, and respectful.
- Ask questions and listen. Learn active listening techniques for managers and leaders, take time to listen to others and get to know them on a personal level.
- Make time for self-care. Having a balanced lifestyle with self-care practices like exercise and meditation is essential for emotional intelligence.
- Take responsibility. Leaders should take responsibility for their actions and be willing to apologize when necessary. Taking responsibility for their own actions helps them to be seen as more credible and trustworthy.
- Cultivate trust. Building trust within the team is key for improving emotional intelligence. Leaders should take the time to build relationships with their team members and create an environment of trust and respect.
Emotional intelligence is an important skill for any leader to cultivate. Investing in the development of your emotional intelligence can have a huge impact on the success of your team, your company, and you.