What is constructive conflict?
If you’re like many leaders, you probably think “constructive conflict” is an oxymoron like “jumbo shrimp.”
Clearly, conflict, by its nature, is not something that’s particularly useful for moving our teams forward.
However, by understanding how to differentiate between unhealthy and healthy conflict and developing strategies to leverage it for the benefit of their teams, leaders can use constructive conflict to create more productive, collaborative teams.
Constructive conflict can be defined as a combination of dialogue and engagement with the goal of creating a solution that is mutually beneficial to all parties.
Notice some things here. It is both dialogue and engagement with a clear goal: a solution that is a win for everyone.
Constructive conflict is an intentional process that requires both active listening and respect for each other’s opinion.
In other words, it doesn’t happen by accident.
It is also a process that is focused on problem solving, rather than allowing emotions to override logic and foster unhealthy debates.
In this article we’ll show you how to begin to embrace constructive conflict and the benefits it can bring to your leadership and management.
Constructive vs. non-constructive conflict
Well, that sounds great, right? You’re probably wondering what it actually looks like in practice.
Here’s an example of the kind of constructive conflict that actually helps a team thrive:
A problem arises between two team members, Anna and Steve.
Anna believes Steve is taking credit for her work because he publicly presented her idea in the most recent team meeting.
Not only that, Anna thinks he has been doing this for a long time and building his career by stealing her ideas.
Steve does not realize that he has done this and believes he is actually doing a great job. He thinks Anna is being overly sensitive and territorial.
Anna and Steve’s manager, Joe, encourages them to have a constructive dialogue to figure out a solution.
In this dialogue, Joe mediates by encouraging them to listen to each other, be respectful, and stay focused on the goal of finding a solution.
After a few rounds of dialogue, Anna and Steve are able to reach an agreement that is mutually beneficial: Steve will make sure to give Anna credit for her ideas in future team meetings, and Anna will make sure to openly and clearly communicate any perceived slights to Steve before they become major.
Now, that seems pretty straightforward, right? Well, what would this look like if it were handled in the more typical, non-constructive manner? Let’s take a look.
In this example, Anna and Steve’s manager, Joe, encourages them to talk it out, but rather than mediating in the conversation, he simply stands by and watches.
The conversation devolves into a loud argument between Anna and Steve, with accusations flying back and forth and tempers escalating.
The conversation becomes more and more tense until finally Joe steps in and shuts down the conversation, telling Anna and Steve to stop arguing.
At this point, no real solution has been identified or agreed upon and the tension between Anna and Steve remains unresolved.
In an even worse scenario, Joe might then chew them out for being unprofessional and raising their voices at each other.
How to work towards constructive conflict
Okay, so you’re sold on the concept and have an idea of what it looks like. Now, how do you actually help your team members engage in constructive conflict?
Here are three simple ways to begin implementing these ideas this week:
Model constructive dialogue
You should begin by leading by example and showing your team what constructive dialogue looks like.
For instance, in team meetings or when faced with a situation that could lead to conflict, demonstrate active listening and respect for each other’s opinions.
Remember that constructive conflict begins with healthy dialogue.
Create an environment of psychological safety
Leaders should make sure their teams feel safe expressing their opinions and discussing contentious topics.
This is a key to encouraging constructive conflict and allowing team members to take risks without fear of severe repercussions for mistakes or voicing deeper concerns.
Always stay focused on the problem
When engaging in constructive conflict, it’s important that team members stay focused on the issue at hand, not attacking the person.
This helps prevent the conversation from becoming overly hurtful or personal.
Set up mediation/facilitated dialogue
Set up facilitation for times when the conversation begins to get heated.
Make sure the facilitator is experienced, respected, and unbiased. Ideally, this should be you as the manager.
You can introduce this kind of mediated conversation by saying something that will immediately calm down the situation like, “Let’s step back and talk about why this issue is important and how we’re going to find a solution that works for everyone.”
Make your role as mediator clear: that you’ll support both members, encourage them to stay focused on the problem, and help them reach an agreement.
Conclusion
With constructive conflict, teams can build trust, collaboration, and creative problem solving while improving team morale.
Although it might not be something that comes naturally to many of us, by following these simple tips, you can turn the always-feared boogeyman of team conflict into a gift.
If you would like help walking through a conflict or learning how to better handle conflicts in your organization, book your free leadership coaching consultation today!